I’d like to begin this post with a picture. This is a picture of all the people at Gutenberg College that I hate, and hope to — through the insidious use of rhetoric — slander and publicly malign:

Incidentally, the above is also a picture of how many fucks I give about people critiquing my critiques of Jack Crabtree’s Summer Institute and Ethics of Sex in the Bible presentations without even taking the time to read the presentations.

Now that we’ve cleared that up, I want to tell you a story:

I have a rather fantastical imagination.

When I was in graduate school at St. John’s College, I would repeatedly plot out my life from grad school until retirement. It included a timeline for things like “Win a Pulitzer” and “Direct 3 movies” (with intricate details about what those movies would be, and I even started the screenplay for one)…