Losing a loved one sets up a year of firsts. This will be the first Fathers Day without my dad here.
I still sense his presence in my life. I still talk to him. I believe he is with Jesus, wherever that is. Is there a place called heaven, fixed at some far away location? I have no idea.
My dad was very suspicious when I joined the Roman Catholic church eleven years ago. Now that I have left it, I wonder if he is somehow communicating with God, guiding me? I am on a journey towards progressive Christianity.
Part of the reason I left Fundamentalism was its emphasis on condemnation and judgment. Fear kept us in line. Even though the particular church in which I was raised preached “once saved, always saved”, there was a constant drip drip drip of dire warnings if we lived a life that “quenched the Holy Spirit.” Partaking of communion without the proper attitude could cause you to get sick, or even die. The things of the world were put forth as spiritually deadly, leaving us bankrupt in our faith. The church taught that if a person persisted in sinning, he could die.
Lots of threats of death.
I still have to get into the nuts and bolts that led me out of fundamentalism, and, now, the RCC. But for now I will miss my dad on Fathers Day, regret that I didn’t have enough time to really communicate with him. But I rest assured that my dad now knows way more than I do. He gets it. He’s with his loving creator.